Naming The Doctor
by Pawtato
Summary: River casually asks the Doctor what his name could be on a whim, but he refuses to tell her. As she grows more and more curious to know, he becomes more and more reluctant to tell her. Will he give in, and if he does, will she be able to handle the truth?


Once upon a time River Song was lying in bed with the eleventh Doctoro. He had the body of an eight year old but the length of an elephant. They had just swived. River's hair was very disheveled and even bigger than usual, so she couldn't see at all out of it and she didn't know if the Doctoro was even there. But he had to be because she needed to talk to him. DOCTORO she called. The DOCTORO looked at her and brushed some hair out of her eyes so she could see him. He still had lady cum on his face. Yeah what River said the Doctoro. What is your name said River because she wanted to know. She felt awkward calling out DOCTORO whenever the swived because it was awkward. It reminded her of an actual doctor she had an affair with, she called him Doctor(o) as well. MATT THE DOCTOR'S JAW DROPPED. Literally, and he reached down to pick it up and put it back on his face. When he finally composed himself (in two hours) she was still staring at him. Her cum was a dry crust on his face by then. What did you say River I asked Doctoro what's your name we are husbando and waifu I have the right to know. The Doctoro took another two hours to calm himself down enough to respond. River I cannot tell you it is the universe's oldest and most grand and most ridiculous secret. It will bring shame to your family. River sighed and she knew it would take some time to get him to tell her.

...

imagine a time lapse of two weeks (he does have to take two hours to formulate responses though) River was really whoreny and she needed to swive but she wanted to get the Doctoro to say his name first so she would know and they would have a really good frickfrack time. The Doctoro was whoreny as well because his elephant was starting to show and wherever he went people would stare at him. She needed to frickfrack really soon or she would spontaneously combust, and the Doctoro would spontaneously combust and then regenerate because of his spontaneous combustion. So she decided to use the bomb. She really didn't want to, but she had no choice. Doctoro say something said River Hi River still not telling my name IF YOU DON'T TELL ME YOUR NAME RIGHT NOW DOCTORO I SWEAR TO COW THAT I WILL BURN ALL YOUR PREVIOUS PRECIOUS COMPANIONS (well the women) AND RAPE ALL YOUR BANANAS. River supposed she could get some satisfaction out of bananas. They were suitably phallic for her needs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA SORRY RIVER BUT I AM THE ELEVENTH DOCTOR AND I NO LONGER LIKE BANANAS I DO LIKE PEARS NOW BUT MY FAVORITE FOOD IS FISH FINGERS WITH CUSTARD AND I HATE YOGURT AND BACON AND BEANS BAD BAD BEANS BAD BAD RIVER Somewhere out in the vast infinity of time and space the Tenth Doctoro cringed. He didn't know why, but it seemed bad. The Ninth Doctoro cringed too, but he did it fabulously and sassily because he is fabulous and sassy. Rose was with both of them. Wot she asked. I don't know said the Doctoros. Fine then I will burn your fish fingers and custard. Also I will kill your companions. More time skips ...YOU GOT ME RIVER okay I shall tell thee. River leaned in because the Doctoro looked like he wanted to whisper. He placed his mouth by his ear and then of course she waited two hours for him to whisper. She was still whoreny though so she reached down to do a little business while she was waiting. But then the Doctoro told her. River...my name is...  
...you must promise never to tell anyone...  
AH I CAN'T TELL...

no...  
but I can't run away forever...  
just don't tell anyone or anything or...  
um...  
River...my name is...

...

...

...  
...f  
...f

...

...  
...fuck.

...

...

...  
...Fifi.  
River stared at him. Doctoro...your name is Fifi. Yes you see I chose the name Doctoro because my name is too embarassing. Yeah it really is You see I can't go around burning and saving people being known as "Fifi" ...Yeah. Okay well let's swive now. Sure I won't tell anyone about this it's okay. I know you won't I trust you. So then they went and did the thingy doodiddly. River smiled the whole time. But she moaned out MATT during her frickity times for reasons unknown to her. Oh well. This would be fun to spread around.


End file.
